Ed Embraces Levelling Up


Levelling up is the thing, Ed confides to his diary, once the PM gets a bee in his bonnet even the Treasury Scrooges find it difficult to argue against funding for worthy  projects.

“Levelling up,”  I tell Greaser on the blower.

“Levelling up what Ed?” asks Greaser.

“Don’t you Northern types follow the news?” I reply, “levelling up North and South, Rich and Poor, Haves and Have-Bots.”

“Sounds like bollox to me, Ed.”

“Yes, but it’s the PM’s bollox, “ I tell him “and there’s a £4 billion fund to back it up so don’t be sniffy about it. We need projects to improve communications infrastructure, cultural life and the  look of the town centres. What projects would be good for your companies?”

“Well the pharma outfit could benefit from an R&D lab, our IT group would benefit from funds to provide free WiFi in every town centre and the building company would do well from contracts to spruce up public buildings”

“Get on with it my son, “ I tell him, “get onto the local councils, spread some dosh around and get them to make applications for Levelling Up Funds along those lines. I’ll be pushing them through when they get into the Whitehall production line.”

“Okey Crokey Ed, I’ll start trotting round the local authorities with some brown paper envelopes in two shakes of a rat’s arse,” says Greaser.

“Good man, and remember 15% of the net proceeds of any Levelling Up contracts your companies get comes to me.”

“For what, Ed? You done nothing for it. 5%.”

“10”.

Done





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